C'est Difficile

It's Difficult. It's hard to not count on getting the ETT job. I don't know how I'm going to make it until the middle of next week. Since Monday the events, conversations, and thoughts of my days have been interrupted every couple of minutes by my anxious mind wondering whether or not I'll get the desired call come Wednesday. I think about the financial stability, about having insurance again, about having a worth-while way to fill my days. I think about the very interesting sounding job, I think about buying my own house and moving out of my parents' house. I think about all my answers to the interviewers questions and whether or not they were good enough. I think about starting off a successful career and stable future. I think about how it's important that I don't get my hopes up in case it doesn't work out. I think about the Jeep I want to buy. I think about so many things and all at the same time. I try to remind myself that no matter what, it was a new and good experience; that at least I was called back for an interview and that I gained valuble experience at performing in such a setting. I try to remind myself that if it doesn't work out, then it simply wasn't God's plan for my life right now and that he has something planned for me....but as the title states..C'est difficile!