Il Pleut

It's Raining. And has been all day. But as the saying goes.."The peaches must be sold!" Wait, that's not the saying...someone should inform my boss. She was always just about to let me go home and close my stand when the rain would let up for a few minutes. Thinking it was bound to let up for good any minute (despite the flash flood warnings) she instructed me to wait out the bad parts of the storm in the truck, and to sell peaches when it wasn't raining. Just another one of those days that makes you look around and wonder what you're doing with your life!

I've been thinking alot about that lately. After work on Saturday, I did some shopping in Downtown Greenville and then got a Caramel Frappachino and walked down to the Reedy River Falls Park. I happened to stumble onto the Wachovia Rhythm of the Tropics Festival. I had no idea it was going on, and just turned around a corner to find bands and people and food everywhere. It was fun to just wander around, getting lost in the crowd. I watched some of the performances including a Latino Hip-Hop group complete with Shakira-like dancers, considered buying some interesting food but refrained after seeing high prices and long lines. I ended up sitting on a stone wall across from the water falls. I love to just sit there and observe the scenery. You have rolling green hills surrounded by little stone walls. There are people scattered around the park..some partaking of a picnic on blankets, others posing for family pictures, or playing catch with their dog. There are couples holding hands on the swings, and kids sliding down the gentler slopes of the Falls. It takes you back to some other time, and really has an uncanny ability to slow life down. It is the perfect place to go and think things over.

I thought about my life. I thought about my disappointment at not finding a career job. My frustration at not really getting connected to a social atmosphere and new people here. I longed for friends in Florida. I found comfort in being closer to family. I smiled as I thought about my planned trip to Florida in a few weeks. My mind wandered through confusion as I thought about the guy I see everyday at work that I'm pretty sure likes me alot. I consider my responses if he ever does actually ask me out. He is Mexican, which isn't necessarily a problem, but is very different. I consider the line between giving new opportunities a chance, and reacting to the first chance that comes along. I don't want fear to make decisions for me...if I reject someone out of fear of what others will think, or what differences will arise that is not right...but niether is accepting them out of fear that I'm being judgemental or stemming from lonliness. I have been in relationships in which I was loved...and one in which I loved...I long for a relationship in which I can both love and be loved. Until I find that, I guess any opportunity is worth at least a little exploration, because who knows which will be the one? I don't know how long I spent sitting there, listening to the bustle around me, and the low roar of the Falls before I decided I should head home. I didn't really decide anything, or come up with anything profound...but I did feel incredibly refreshed and prepared to take on whatever comes next in my life at the crossroads.

I'd like to take a moment to welcome my good Venezuelan/French friend to the Blogsphere. She has recently launched her own blog entitled Vida and can now be found in my links. I'm not too sure she's decided to keep up with it yet, but what she's posted so far is great, and I look forward to reading more!

As mentioned earlier in this post... I have decided to pay a much needed visit to The Sunshine State. I plan to arrive in Gainesville on July 8th. The current plan is to then spend a couple of days in my hometown of Cocoa. I will then return to Gatorville to spend the rest of the week. I leave for home on Sunday, July 16th. I'm very excited about spending the time with my friends, and resting in blissful familiarity! If you have time to hang out that week, be sure to let me know!