Perdu

Lost. I feel as though I've been on a rollercoaster this last week, and especially this last weekend. I feel so completely lost and confused at times, that it seems difficult to breathe. But then, at other times, it seems that this point in my life is fine, and as it should be. I run into someone that talks about how long it took for them to find their job, or people at church talk about how long their kids have been looking for jobs. I talk to some of my friends that feel just as lost and confused as I am and it all suddenly seems normal.

On Sunday evening, after the church service, I was talking to a man who's son is about to start the job search. He asked how my inquiries were going and I almost gave him my stock response; that is, what I tell everyone at church, or in my extended family that asks that very same question, all the time. I usually say "oh it's going fine. I have my resume in at several places and am hopeful that someone will call any day now, and have been told that Schwan is about to contact me." While all of that statement is completely true, it really doesn't describe what I'm going through right now. I'm not sure if I was feeling particularly vulnerable, or realistic, or moved by the convicting sermon I'd just heard, but I decided to tell the man I was talking to exactly what was going through my mind at the moment. Dr. Richard Horner, the director of The Christian Study Center, and a person that I look up to and respect immensely once said, that when we allow people to see the messes in our lives, we allow them to see the areas in which God is working in our lives. Well, I looked the man square in the eye and allowed him to see my mess. I said "honestly, it's so frustrating and difficult that I just don't know what to do". And my directness was rewarded with perhaps the best encouragement I've gotten yet... he said "I know it's hard, but you know, I've known so many graduates that end up spending so much time doing something that has absolutely nothing to do with what their degree is in, and then one day BOOM, God puts them right where they are supposed to be and everything works out." I then said, "yeah, that's the part I'm waiting for, the boom!" And then he said, "just be patient, it'll happen, and I'll pray for you...I'll pray for a sonic boom!" It was really a simple discussion that took all of two minutes, but it has really stuck with me, and has encouraged me tremendously. So here's to waiting for a sonic booms....

I did get an email back from ZAO today. They said they weren't currently hiring, but that they would be happy to put my resume on file for future opportunities. It wasn't exactly the result I'd hoped for, but I was still glad to hear something from someone. I've gotten so frustrated waiting for everyone to contact me, that any contact at all was welcomed. And who knows, it could work out sometime down the line, it's just not in the plans right now.

My friend, Rob, posted a very enlightening speech on his blog that I think everyone should read, so check it out, I've added his link to my list. It's the post dated February 26, 2006.

As I mentioned in a comment on another post, Le Chien (Houdini) disappeared overnight, and hasn't been seen since. He was quite a bit smaller than Socrates and must have slipped out of the gate somehow. Hopefully he made it back home, or into a happy household that will treat him well.